Feelings

I'm feeling like shit emotionally and mentally at the moment and it feels like to one person I love with all my heart doesn't seem to care. Keep in mind that the word I've used is "I'm feeling" and "it feels" so this post is based on my feelings so if who ever reads this wants to judge me on my feelings then please go and get fucked because we all feel different things and my feelings are no different to anyone else's and can get hurt just as easily.

Anyway I sometimes wonder what ever happened to the loving and thoughtful relationship my husband and I had in the beginning. It seems so long ago that the man I fell in love with was thoughtful to my feelings and didn't try to go out of his way to say or do hurtful things to upset me. Yes I know I can be hard to get along with but I'm pretty sure I made a point of letting him know just what he was getting into to if he moved to Tassie to be with me and I thought he had accepted me for being me but it seems these days no matter what I say or do all I seem to be doing is trying to cause an argument. 

I talk to loud.. therefore I'm arguing.

I disagree with him.. therefore I'm trying to start a fight.

I have my own opinion.. therefore I'm being difficult to annoy him.

I'm upset and crying.. therefore I'm trying to make him feel guilty.

I question his actions.. Once again I'm trying to cause an argument.

I don't want to do something.. therefore I'm being a bitch.

There used to be a time when we could sit down and talk to one another, you know chat about anything be it our feelings or just plain dribble but it seems we don't communicate very well any more. It seems like every time we do try and communicate we end up having a spat.

The thing is I know we used to have a really good relationship but I have no idea what changed. I sometimes wished we had of stayed in Tasmania because we were so much happier there and it seems the moment we moved back to the mainland his whole demeanour had changed towards me. I wish he would just be like he used to be... less aggressive.